(Source: fimyuan)

(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)


It’s getting cold here.  I’m a little scared of winter this year.  I feel so much less alive in the winter.

Interesting, winter is my favorite season. I think that might have a lot to do with Christmas though.

But also childhood memories of sledding and snowball fights and snow fort construction. Also hot cocoa and generally being the season of warm hearty foods.

(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)
(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)

Reblog if you actually give a shit about anyone who’s suicidal or depressed.

(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)

carelsswhisper-deactivated20131 said: My life isn't started yet either, which I constantly beat myself up for, but then I think about it. If its not started yet then its not meant to. We all have our time and place. So don't worry. I'm not sure how old you are but I'm 20. And in regards to your teddy, I have to carry around my baby blanket which I call tuggy to stressful places. At first I felt stupid, now I'm past the point of caring. It helps me so they can look all they want.


I’m 21.  I can’t stop worrying about my future because my parents and therapist and psychiatrist all keep bringing it up as something to be working towards when I’m not ready for work or college again but I feel so useless not being able to do it.  I just don’t know what to do with myself and I can’t stand myself just waiting.

I wish I could just bring Tony around with me and not care what people think but I do care.  I’m terrified of what people think of me.  I avoid eye contact and look at the ground whenever I’m outside so I don’t accidentally offend anyone.  Tony won’t fit in my backpack if it has books in it and I’d be terrified of a boss or coworker catching me giving him a squeeze if I ever managed to get back to school or find a job.  Gods what if someone took him as a prank.

It’s this damn fear that always holds me back: coming up with some unlikely scenario and then being paralyzed by the ‘what if it happens’ and I can’t do anything.

How do I be normal?  How am I supposed to function in society when I’m afraid of everything?  How could I have a future at all while I’m like this?

Sorry that got a bit rambling I’m just having a bad night.

I don’t think anyone can entirely avoid caring what people think. But the next best thing is pretending that you don’t care.

By way of a ‘for instance’, I was terrified for weeks in anticipation of asking the GM of my Shadowrun gamer group (which was full of white cismen playing cyberpunk wizards and standard Gibson-esque street samurais) if my character could be a black intersex genderqueer post-op trans*person who was incredibly flamboyant and promiscuous and sexually intimidating, and whose mechanical build revolved around a deconstruction of the film noir femme fatale.

It wasn’t easy, but it helped enormously that I pretended not to care what anyone thought. I pretended that I wasn’t nervous about being judged for doing something different, and that made it feel cool and stylish instead of just bizarre. It shifted the dynamic in my head from me trying to force something on them that would take them out of their comfort zone, to them needing to be defensive and needing to prove to me that they weren’t transphobic—that’s the kind of difference that it makes when you maintain an appearance of total conviction. And lo and behold, that same defensiveness transpired in reality when I finally asked. My belief was contagious.

Pretend to be somebody who has no problem being in public with a teddy bear. Pretend to be that badass who is so cool, so at peace with the teddy bear, that it barely even occurs to her that somebody might think it’s a big deal. Because this isn’t just any teddy bear, this is Tony Friggin’ Stark. Your Tony Stark. Pity the fool who tries to keep a mama bear from that cub. This shifts the dynamic from you being silly and childish, to them coming to terms with the fact that they were judging you about something that was ultimately pretty trivial.

Most people are automatically a little bit deferential when somebody asserts emself like that because it makes them insecure about their own problems to see someone else being so bold. It doesn’t always get you what you want, but it’s usually a big help, and it’s especially helpful once you start picking up on that deference. The deference makes you more self-confident, and self-confidence improves the efficacy of the illusion that you don’t care what they think, which then increases the level of deference so that you get a self-sustaining cycle of ever-increasing respect for doing something that would normally be considered a social faux pas.

If people stare, don’t shrink away in embarrassment. Instead, eagerly tell them “I see you’ve noticed Tony Stark!” and speak proudly and at length about his delightful teddy bear goodness. If people ask you why you carry him around, don’t stutter and avoid the question. Instead, smile knowingly and say “Oh, I just find his presence comforting. That’s what teddy bears are for, you see. Why do you ask, are you thinking of getting one too?”

TL;DR be yourself.

(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)
(Reblogged from shoelacediaries)

Sorry for lack of updates

I’ve been away from tumblr for a while and will continue to be away from tumblr most of the time for the indefinite future. I started to realize that it was causing me a lot of anxiety and also narrowing my perspective and I was afraid if I kept on it much longer it would start making me much more unstable in daily life than I already am.

Posts may start up with more frequency if I can figure out a good way to deal with this. I still love you all, I wish you lives that are happy and relatively just, and i’m sorry this was so abrupt.


Eggplant parmesan


This recipe takes a little while to bake and prepare but all the steps are simple and will keep you busy when you need a distraction. 


1 eggplant

1 jar of tomato sauce

two handfuls of grated mozzarella

Preheat the oven to 375 F.  Cut the eggplant into half inch slices and sprinkle some salt on the slices.  Allow them to sit and dehydrate for about 15 minutes. 

Take a deep baking dish and spoon a thin layer of tomato sauce on the bottom.  Put down a layer of eggplant and spoon more tomato sauce on each slice, then sprinkle generously with cheese.  Repeat until you are out of eggplant slices and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top.

Put the baking dish (uncovered) into the oven for 45 minutes.

Serves between three and five depending on the size of the eggplant.

(Reblogged from depressioncookbook)


Don’t stop learning.
Don’t be ashamed of what you’ve learned.
Don’t be afraid to pass on what you’ve learned.

In a mediocre and superstitious Italy, Margherita Hack taught me this. Thank you!


(Reblogged from science-junkie)


Amy submitted:

From oglaf.com

Quite a few has submitted this comic to RHA! This is hilarious.

(Reblogged from repair-her-armor)